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Why I Hate Jet Skiers

posted by Metis Black

So I’m at the river, safe on our little piece of dry land with my E-Z up, beach chairs, bbq ice chest and nice bottle of mojitos and all of a sudden a boat and 4 jet skis invade. Really I was cool about it- I share pretty darn well. The boat beached and they got out some drinks, chairs and set up a horse shoe toss and all might have been peachy except for the one jerk off.

There’s always one in a group of jet skiers and this group was no exception. His friends were out in the water relaxing, talking, drinking, staying cool and he was spinning donuts until the fuse in his brain fizzled and he sped directly at the bunch of his friends and right before impact he jumped off. He did this repeatedly like a one trick pony accept it wasn’t really a trick.

Last Saturday I was at Mission Bay. The morning had been amazing— the water glass and I was catching air. As 9 o-clock comes, I’m getting out of the water. The truck has backed down the dock, the trailer is in place, I’m 10 feet off driving up slowly when a jet skier pulls right between me and the trailer. I shit you not. In the boat I’m yelling at him. He’s oblivious. He’s just looking at the truck and the trailer missing what’s in the water completely.

Perhaps if there was a license for jet skiing; if there was a big insurance policy you had to buy before you got to ride; if there was a blow test for alcohol and a Darwin test for common sense and survival— maybe then I’d be a little more understanding.

3 Responses to “Why I Hate Jet Skiers”

Comments

Evan Jul 30 2008 / 6pm

I’ve owned my share of jetskis….but I have to say I agree with you!!
Metis Jul 30 2008 / 7pm

I’m sure everyone has a story about the obnoxious jetskier who stole their water, bounced against their boat, or who made a complete ass of himself.

Must say when we see the patrol pulling them over we always cheer.
Mike Jul 30 2008 / 7pm

I must say, being at the river when the guy was riding his ski, full throttle, into a group of people and leaping off to test his kill switch time and time again was one hell of a spectacle. Metis hit the Darwin test on the head.